Take [Self-] Care
Growing up in a conservative Pakistani Muslim household, self-care was a foreign concept. As you and your spirit grows, you realize it becomes the crux of your core. Without it, elements of inspiration, motivation and creativity cripple.
Living at home for the last 24 years, I grew up pretty privileged — never needing to work hard to get money, a car or job. As pretentious as this may sound aloud, I had everything I could possibly need. Things were easy and comfortable. Mindlessly following an equation, life didn’t seem so fragmented. After all — if it ain’t broken, don’t fix it right?
Graduating college a few years later, I spent countless days and nights applying for jobs. After a brutal 18 months of job hunting, I was hired at a computer software startup in New York City. Within a week, I packed my bags, moved, and started my new chapter in the concrete jungle.
Just like that, I was hit with the beautiful disaster of moving 231 miles away from home, being on my own for the first time and learning that the 9–5 I bled, sweat and cried for was far beyond my expectations. Regulating meal prep, learning subway tracks and making budget sheets had become the bane of my existence for months. Before I knew it, this D.C. native slowly acquainted herself with corporate slavery in the most bittersweet of ways.
While balancing work, making friends and exploring the city, I found myself struggling in the process of keeping up with myself while embracing this new lifestyle. Working between Fifth Avenue and Parsons School of Design, looking your best seemed elusive and honestly… pretty competitive. Sure, it seemed like everyone around you had their shit together — but that’s what we do, don’t we? We judge by looking at the cover without understanding the brittle pages comprising the story. There was something beyond just the chapters.
If there is anything I take pride in, it was how I carried myself. At one point, I would plan my outfits for the entire week every Sunday night, ready to conquer the next day. It almost felt empowering knowing I gave my all for something I was passionate about. As much effort I was putting into looking good, I wasn’t giving feeling good too much thought. I needed to find truth behind the adage.
Taking care of my mind and body while trying to make it in the city seemed a bit hopeless.. Living in a generation where platforms like YouTube and Instagram altered expectations and dictated standards, I was surrounded by this concept of “one size fits all.” Everything around me seemed universal or mundane — which sounded painless at first, but unrealistic in every which way. It was a theory that had to be reassessed.
Self-care is a concept that isn’t often communicated, taught or expressed growing up — especially when communication lies as a prominent obstacle between most immigrant parents and Generation Y. But what truly defines self-care? The Psychology Dictionary breaks down self-care in two parts:
- The daily activities in looking after ourselves
- Avoiding all threats and issues that may make an individual face irritable and uncomfortable circumstances
For someone who had taught herself the concept of self-care, I realized I wasn’t entirely cognizant of its components — let alone implementing them to its absolute fullest -which made me question: was I actually ever in the state of self-care? I was half assing something so much more than a definition or concept. This was a lot more than that; it’s a state of mind, process and lifestyle of a constant refuel of motivation.
If we make self-care an objective, it also becomes a purpose in our daily lives — and ultimately, a priority. The awareness that surrounds self-care makes you more relatable; it gives you credibility in what you’re striving for — and that’s a lot less abstract, isn’t it? Just like balance, self-care is relative with circumstances, finances, and scenarios. With constant exposure to unrealistic pressures italicized on social media, are we becoming the obstacle of obtaining the mindset of self-care? Grasping a stilted learning process through these platforms is a paradox. Along the way, we find ourselves chasing after true procurement of self-care without understanding not only its gravity but what also works best for us in every which way.
Self-care is universal — but the way an individual perceives it doesn’t have to be. In this blog, I take you on my self-care journey while trying to keep my feet on the ground and money in the bank. Not only will I share my routine, tips and struggles, but also showcase how creatives, freelancers, and entrepreneurs living in the city approach self-care.
We’re tough on ourselves, especially when we haven’t hit that milestone just yet. Don’t let the discomfort of life govern your comfort. You deserve all forms of kindness in every manner. You deserve every charming noun modifier in the dictionary. You deserve love and happiness and all things good and pure. You deserve to take [self-] care.
